My Own Space to Tell My Story

I need a place to blog without needing to worry about the readers. About what the other people say. What the other people want. I need a place to be me. With incomplete sentences and misspelled words.

I have been trying to be awesome. The problem with awesome is it doesn't come when you call it. That just makes you a wannabe. I guess that is what I am. I am a wannabe. I want to make money without a day job. I want to do awesome shit. I want to live a memorable life.

So far, I've kinda sucked at it. I'm almost 30 and I feel like my 20s have been a major waste of time. I've learned a lot, true. But I don't feel any closer to my dream of living on the road and traveling than I was 5 years ago when I got out of college. And I didn't even do college right. I wish I could do that again.

I'm tired of trying. Maybe I don't need the perfect situation. Maybe I can make it on my own. Maybe I can build my own RV. Will I? I have no fucking clue right now.

You see, I want an RV so I can travel without worrying about my stuff. And I want a good RV. Not something that will fall apart as I drive it. But do I really need an RV?

I am sitting in the Austin hostel right now. I don't need the RV to travel. But it does help. I does let me go places with no hostels. I can travel.

Is blogging in my dream? Maybe. I dream of waking up in my bed, wherever that may be. I dream of getting out my books and "attending class". I dream of working on projects in coffeeshops and hostel living rooms. I dream of making friends wherever I go.

I dream of helping special needs kids. Building things for them. Getting them what they need. Maybe even teaching them. They have a special place in my heart.

I dream of going to India and learning to speak Hindi. I dream of seeing all of the great and amazing things that this world has to offer.

Maybe I need an RV and maybe I don't. I mean, I don't need to go home when I can stay in a hostel. It's like rent right? If I spend less than 30 dollars a night, that is less than 900 a month. This hostel is affordable. Others are too. Air bnb is good too. I bet there are places for that in some awesome places.

I need to go to Alabama and visit my friend MC. I haven't seen her since last summer. It's about time. I don't need to spend the money. I've learned that this month. Spend money to make money. I've spent so little this month compared to normal. It is doable.

The only thing I do know is that I'm tired and it is definitely time for bed.